I say it a lot but I say it because its true, “God has such a funny way of working.” It’s in our deepest time of demand, when we really need him to show out the most, that’s when our faith is truly tested. Life never seems to go how we planned (at least for me that is) Constant curve balls, disappointments, financial issues, heart break, illness are just a few things that take place in every ones life at least once in a while, some more often than usual.
In the beginning of the year, as I was writing down my goals for 2016 and the ways I were going to achieve them, I jotted down a couple of essentials that I needed to better equip me to carry out my plans.
- Vision Board
- Financial Advisor
- Manufacturing Company
Just to name a few.
I wrote down how much I was going to invest in each department and came up with a plan that even I could follow and stay structured. But little did I know that I was soon to be reminded, “even though my plans may have been written down, it was God who truly held the pen to my life.”
A little over 2 weeks ago I lost my job where I worked as a front desk receptionist at a “High End” hair salon. I was crushed, extremely disappointed. I cried like a baby and in came flooding in my worries, my insecurities, and doubts. I questioned so many things. Like “How am I going to pay the bills I have?” “How am I going to maintain my website?” “How am I going to afford my necessities and other essentials that I need on a daily basis to function?” But most importantly, “How the heck am I suppose to tithe without a job?” I freaked out, honestly. I called my mother right after and broke down to her and told her how I felt. She encouraged me and prayed with me and said “Melissa, God provides.” Of course I know God provides, but in that moment I wasn’t thinking about that, my fear, my worry had overcome the thought of faith. I wanted to go home and tear up every goal I had written down along with all the things I jotted down to purchase. Ye of little faith. I couldn’t stay down for long though. I began to prepare for an annual women’s gathering that my church hosts every January that we call “girlfriends Conference” with the team I serve with in our pastoral green room. From shopping for food and items, to meetings, to organizing, and trying to find something to wear were all distractions from the thought of me being now jobless.
During conference in between serving and listening to the word, it definitely crossed my mind a couple of times briefly. I remember thinking to myself once “Dang, I really need a planner for my business.” But I was completely wiped out of money, Heck; I barely paid for my ticket for the conference and my phone bill was quickly approaching. It was rough, I must admit. But then I opened my mouth and said “Your will God, not mine.” Everything was out of my control and I just had to let it go.
I continued on serving and receiving the word during conference and the time to receive our “conference gifts” had arrived. I waited anxiously as they passed out the little silver bags that were decorated so cute. Inside were tiny mirrors that matched our theme so eloquently “I AM HER.”
But it was the piece of paper inside that really caught my attention. The paper read that are real gifts were 2016 planners from one of my favorite printing company “Horacio Printing.” It was in that moment, that I knew that God had a plan for me all along. I needed a planner, and He knew that. He also knew that Id lose my job and freak out about not being able to purchase one. But we all know that God has such a sense of humor. I sometimes think that he sits in heaven and laughs when we begin to panic because He jut knows that pain and suffering is only temporary. “If only she’d listen to her mother when she said "God provides” he says.
So you see, to others it was just a planner, but to me, it was Gods way of telling me to be still and know that He is God who supplies every need. The planner is so perfect! It has everything I need in a planner and more. Its my blessing.
So to encourage anyone who is dealing with worry, fear, or doubt; Remember who God is. Think back on the times where He always came though at the perfect moment and never left you hanging. If He did it once, trust me when I tell you, He’ll do it over and over again.