90 Days to Self Love


On June 6th I started myself on a self love challenge for 90 days. In the next three months, everyday I choose to love me before I decide to love anyone else, to put my feelings on front street and keep me happy by all means necessary.  Some might say "but thats pretty selfish Melissa, to think about you before you think of others" but I honestly believe that me putting myself last, is me being selfish to my soul. How can I first love others if I don't first love myself? How can I value others or expect someone else to value me, if I myself don't see my worth?





People can only get away with what you allow, they learn how to treat you by watching you treat yourself. That goes for friendships, relationships, in a work place and in doing business a well. For years on end, I have seen my life spiral from the worst season of my life, to the best season of my life. And honestly, the worst season always had to do with me dealing with someone who never appreciated me, respected me, or valued me. Whether it be with a friend or even with a boyfriend, I had a pattern of allowing people to treat me poorly if it made them happy. I had the mentality of, "as long as the person stayed in my life, they could do as they please, even if that meant hurting and disrespecting me. I found myself getting comfortable with  people back stabbing me, friends gossiping about me, not being respected and being taken advantage of. All those things became like second nature to me and eventually I ended up  convincing myself that those things were a normal part of friendships and relationships and was needed to make them stronger. But that was up until God began to provide me with God fearing, healthy, respectful friendships and relationships that encouraged me instead of bringing me down. It was kind of like a culture shock, being around people that respected my opinion, respected my feelings, cared about my well being and genuinely loved me. I found myself sometimes waiting for some of these people to mess up the good thing that we had. But God spoke to me so clearly one day while I thanked Him for the people he had been placing in my life. "Melissa, no one will respect you if you don't respect yourself, and the only way you can respect yourself is to not allow anyone to disrespect you twice." After that, it instantly clicked...

People will disrespect you, or at least try to.  Just make sure they're not given the permission to disrespect you twice. 

Since then I made a promise to myself that I'd first respect, value, and appreciate me before I expected anyone else to do the same. And thats where this 90 days of self love challenge comes into place. Three months of keeping toxic people, things and vibes very far away from me and to have very low tolerance for disrespect

  • Prayer
  • Daily Dosage of the Word
  • Daily Affirmations
  • Quality Time with myself
  • Journaling
  • One act of kindness for me and someone else per day
  • Daily Laughter
  • Fasting

All of the above has been apart of my journey and has helped me in such a way that I can't explain! Especially prayer and reading the Word. Just knowing how much God loves me and has sacrificed someone really special to Him on my behalf, allows me look at myself in a different light. Everyday my "self love' grows. I look in the mirror and say "Maybe you are worth it, maybe you do deserve to be treated right" and that alone is slowly but surely shifting my perspective on how I view me. Now don't get me wrong, I'm so not perfect and even though Im on this journey to self love, I do find myself thinking and missing the things and people that couldn't see my worth. I've failed yes, but I've gotten back up again, dust myself off and said "keep going girl, you're worth more than failure."


So I'm encouraging anyone reading this, woman or man, boy or girl, student or teacher who is struggling to see their worth, challenge yourself to make it all about you and your happiness. Do more of what makes you feel good and don't allow anything or anyone to make you feel bad about it. You matter too! Get rid of the toxic things and people and begin to just start speaking the positive into your life, I promise you its so rewarding to do. Because not only will it promote your heart to love you more, but it'll promote it to love others as well.


Loving You First Is Never Selfish.

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- Melissa