Abstinent vs Celibate. Know the difference.
Do you Not Want it at all or are you waiting for it?
Recently, my blog sister posted a video on her YouTube channel where she featured a guest who's ministry is all about abstaining from sex until marriage. While watching that video, I learned something so profound that I never knew. Now I'm not sure if I've just been living under a rock or if I'm just dumb, but did you guys know that Celibate and Abstinent are two different things with two different meanings?
abstaining from marriage and sexual relations, typically for religious reasons.
"a celibate priest"
refraining from an activity or from the consumption of something,
MIND BLOWN! I know, I'm late but I promise I did not know those terms meant different things. So then it got me thinking and asking myself some questions (ya'll know I'm always thinking lol). Am I abstinent or am I celibate. It took me 1.0 seconds to figure out the answer to my question. I'm abstinent for sure.
For those who are or were just as clueless as I was, I'm sure you're still wondering what in the world is the big difference from the two, so lets break it down. When one decides to become abstinent, they choose to refrain (Stay away from temporarily, or cut back on) a certain thing (sex, alcohol, chocolate) but when you are celibate, you're deciding to completely cut it off forever. Priest and nouns are celibate because they made a decision to not get married and have sex to completely devote their whole entire being to God. So I think its ts safe to say that I'm definitely practicing abstinence and not celibacy because I'm getting married and having lots of sex with my husband (that's Gods plan for my life). But kudos to you who are celibate, keep hope alive my sister/brother.
I Choose Abstinence, Now What?
Now being Abstinent isn't easy, especially if you're in a relationship, and especially if you're in a relationship with someone you've already had sex with (that's when its the hardest honestly) but it is POSSIBLE. Difficult? Yes. Possible? Absolutely. What makes abstaining from sex more hard is when you think you can rely on yourself to stay away from it. No matter how many boundaries you set, no matter how many conversations you and your spouse have, if you do not surrender your flesh to the Holy Spirit, you and your significant other will steady hunching like two gorillas in a jungle on a hot and boring day (I watch a lot of animal planet). So I'm pretty sure you're asking yourself, what can I do to keep me and my boyfriend/girlfriend pure? Well first thing is first that you need to know is, you have absolutely no control of your partners decision to stay pure or not, worry about your decision first and make sure its what YOU want to do whether he/she agrees with it or not. Once you do that, then the conversation of "I'm waiting until marriage to have sex" needs to happen. Start the conversation with confidence because once you say "I want to wait" now they think they can change your mind. Next, pray and ask God for guidance, wisdom, discernment and the strength to hold on tight cause listen.. it's going to be a ride of lots and lots of sacrifice. Surrender your flesh everyday and every moment to God, expose your weaknesses to Him and He will provide help and a way out if you ever get tempted. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says
"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it."
A very clear way of saying that God will always provide a way out. YOUR'E STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! Don't put yourself in a position to fail, cause once you fall that guilt will kick in. (and you'll feel like crap) Be smart, be vulnerable and keep your flesh in line by asking God to strengthen it. Something that use to help me a lot was praying on my own before I hung out with my boyfriend, praying with him and not staying alone for more than 3 hours. (it really helps). Not only are you worth the wait but so is your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Love Is Patient
So before you tell someone you're celibate, know that you're telling them that you are NEVER having sex again. Choose your words wisely.