Charley York for Story Tuesday

MY STRENGTH

Mellie reached out to me and asked to tell my story for her ‘Story Tuesdays’. I posed this question… what am I going to say? What about my life do I think is important to share? I thought about this long and hard overnight, and the next morning it hit me: Strength. As a child, I was never the prettiest in the bunch. In fact, at the age of thirteen I was taller and bigger than most of my friends. I had braces and glasses. Both. I repeat, both! By the age of sixteen, I was in high school and during those four years I plunged in weight. You can imagine how my life was at the time. In the midst of those trying times, I got cheated on, backstabbed, and lied to by the people closest to me. None of my life made sense, but looking back I realized how strong I was through all of it. That in itself was a blessing and a curse. My ability to remain strong scratched away my ability to be vulnerable. You can’t be strong all of the time, and I see myself dealing with that ‘till this very day. I let some of those situations beat me, but I found that my recovery rate was so fast. And if you knew what I had been through, you’d agree and say that it was NOTHING but the Grace of God.

All of my life, God has been with me. I thank my grandparents every day fornot raising me by themselves but with God as their focus. My mom was very young when she had me and my dad thought it would be in my best interest if she gave me to my grandparents to take care of. Just a few days ago, my mom reminded me and said that it was easily the best decision she has made her entire life. She reminds me of how scared and devastated she was to let me go, but if she didn’t listen to God, I wouldn’t have blossomed like I did. I thank my mom for always reminding me of that because it lets me know in my trying times where I feel like I am lost and hopeless, I have to continue to trust God and His plan for me. 

To trust God in the light is nothing, but to trust Him in the dark – that is faith
— C. H. Spurgeon

When my college career started is when my life began to unfold. Being on my own gave me room to test my own abilities. It gave me a chance to learn more about myself and reveal my strengths and weaknesses. What I learned is: It was okay to let go. It was okay to say no. It was okay to restart. I had a hard time finding myself, and getting over things that I had no control over happening to me. I wanted to 5nd happiness within myself, but didn’t know how I would 5nd it. I prayed for healing. I prayed for peace. I talked to God about EVERYTHING. He saw where I struggled and He saw where I succeeded. He saw when I was authentically myself and when I work my facade. I asked Him to unravel me – the real me. These past two years, God has beendoing just that ever so diligently and at His pace. I am a writer, a storyteller. I am a lover. I am a fashionista at heart. I love deeply. I am passionate. Also, I am sweet but ain’t shit sweet. You feel me? Before this year, I couldn’t say any of that about myself. I am a work in progress. I’m not even at my full potential yet and knowing that alone makes me so excited to see what God has in store for me! He promised me that if I did my part and put the work in that is required, He would push me to be my best self. A week ago, my dog had passed. He was very sick with a virus that attacked his heart. His death devastated me, as I had never experienced a lose like that ever in my entire life. And to say that, I am blessed. Nonetheless, Leo was my best friend. I have to share this because Leo was a big part of my life and being on my own in college. This was the one time where my vulnerability and strength where neck and neck. I didn’t know what to feel. Yet, God came around and told me that He is my strength in my trying time (Psalm 46:1). In this moment, and in this period of my life, God has blessed me with the ability to be vulnerable and strong at the right times. He comforts me by telling me that it was in His plan. I encourage you all to speak to God whenever and He will give you the strength you need. He will give you power over your life and your emotions. Through Him, I know who I am and what I am worth. He humbles me enough to share my story with you all. And as the last note, I want you guys to know that anything and everything is possible when God is in your plans! Know that God has a plan for you, as He has one for me! And that every single thing that happens under the sun and moon happens for a reason. Thank you! 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

 

Melissa Mills4 Comments