Emilie Flynn for Story Tuesday
It all started when a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to be apart of her and another friends prayer challenge back in January. Now this is going to sound kind of weird but, It was a 30 day prayer challenge for your future husband. Everyday we would pray for our spouse. When she first asked me, I turned down the opportunity so quick because I came to a point of my life that I wanted to be single for the rest of my life. After all the hell I had been through in relationships, I just knew that God had called me to a life of singleness. But even after I said no to the challenge, my friend pretty much begged me to join her so I caved and said yes. I figured it would be a way for our friendship to get better. After two weeks of prayer, I began getting these revelations about marriage and began to become hopeful that just maybe God had someone special in mind for me
. Not too long after feeling that way, here comes Earl Blackman. I always saw his tweets retweeted on twitter and even at one point praised him for how anointed he was and how he was so needed for our generation. One day Earl went thru my pictures on twitter and liked a picture of my daughters grades. That was strange to me because guys usually like an actual picture of me. I decided to DM to see what all that was about and that's when it all started! We have been a match made in heaven since, truly ordained by God. However, we had our ups and downs.
The biggest thing we had to learn (really me) was accepting that we are from 2 different walks of life and that we are from 2 different cultures. For those who don’t know, Earl is from the UK & I was born here in America. And as crazy as it may sound, It took awhile for me to accept that though this man was always positive and God fearing on twitter, he wasn't perfect. The things I thought he should have known to do as a boyfriend, he didn't. I thought to myself a lot “How is he a life coach and giving relationship advice but is clueless to certain areas of what a boyfriend should do. I was expecting a perfectionist because of his title in his community. But that wasn’t the case at all and now that I look back, there’s nothing wrong with your man not knowing it all no matter what he does. I realize that my expectations made our relationship very very hard and being that we’re in a long distance relationship, my thinking didn’t make the situation any better, just made it worse. Eventually we had to take a break because things were becoming stressful between us and I had to realize that I needed to dive more into Christ to allow Him to genuinely work on my heart. I started listening to Dan Mohler, probably one of the most radical preachers I've ever listened to. His message called "Above all LOVE" is what changed my perspective on love, relationships and life, I immediately felt convicted. Dan really made me realize that no one is perfect and yet God still loves us regardless of our mess and we should do the same for others.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps record of no wrongs . (1 Corinthians 13:-5)
I was definitely not exercising that verse at all, not even a little bit. God had to show me that I was not showing Earl the Godly love that he needs and if I continued our relationship would never last and that was the last thing I wanted (another failed relationship). Instead of expecting Earl to know better and change, I changed my attitude and loved him regardless and eventually I started to see a change in him. It's amazing how God works and how He deals with His children. It all comes right back to us and our hearts and how we handle situations, not the other persons. Let God deal with the other person because It is not our job to change people, that's God's job. We do the fighting in prayer and change OUR attitude and God will do the heavy lifting for us. My whole character has changed so much since being with Earl and I'm learning not to have a one dimensional love how I used to. It's nothing but the grace of God that we are still together and still holding on strong to our relationship because we know He called us to be together to be a force in the Kingdom of God, to change our generation and to help young people overcome the mountains we have been through. We are standing on the promises that He has given us and can't no devil in hell stop what's about to come.