They'll Never Like You.
ACTUAL BEEF or MADE UP BEEF?
The other day I found myself in a conversation (per usual) with someone about dealing with a group of people who weren't too fond of her. She said to me, "Sometimes I feel like I have to prove myself to my haters because of all the false things they've said about me. So I asked her, How do you know you have haters? "I can tell, plus people tell me all the time that I'm being talked about" she answered. My response was "Wait, so you only heard that they were talking about you?" She answered, "Yea, but I know its true, they don't even talk to me, you can tell they're jealous." It was in that moment I realized two things..
- We listen to everyone else instead of approaching the actual horse it came from
- We create haters with the people we assume don't like us.
I left that conversation asking myself, when we talk about haters, and people not liking us, how can we be 100% sure that these individuals are actual haters? Do we make up beef/conflict in our head? do we really have haters? are people really praying for our downfalls? If the answer is yes, how do we really know if thats true?
Every human being on this earth has someone out there who doesn't like them, who probably can't stand the sight of their face or has decided that they just don't want to talk to you. But lets be real, we often invent issues with people not even knowing if there's a real problem or not. (especially women) These people who you think are your haters probably don't even think about you, can care less for you and may even forget you exist unless they actually see you. I know of way too many situations where people are seriously beefing with people who never utter their name, yet have literally convinced themselves and others that everyone hates them. Well heres some advice to the people with this mindset..
NO ONE CARES TO HATE YOU!
You're living this fairytail life of people being jealous or envious of you when you have absolutely nothing for people to be envious of. And even if you feel like you do, the only way you'd know your haters exist is if you've been paying them attention. Ive realized that people have this mindset of, a person who doesn't support my movement/ministry/organization/clothing line or whatever, automatically resorts to the person being jealous, which I think is ridiculous. I can only speak for myself when I say this but there's somethings that I don't support not because I'm a hater or that I'm jealous, but because I think the movement is whack (honestly speaking)
how to handle fake hate
One thing I have learned is when you ignore hate you kill it, even if that hate is made up lol. Theres nothing more satisfying then smiling in someones face and saying Hi knowing they don't like you. For me, I choose to pick my battles, I know who I can tolerate and who I can't. If I see you and I don't speak, then its most likely because you and I have tried everything to coincide and it just never worked. I'm a softie at heart. Most the times when people first meet me they all say the same thing, "You look intimidating, like you're not friendly" and its so true, I'm not friendly at all. If I don't notice you, I won't say a word, (Its something I'm working on). But if you don't like me, I honestly do not care. I went through the phase of pleasing others and doing things to make people like me for so long and was left miserable. And honestly, it was a phase I'm so glad I'm over because no one was ever satisfied. So live your life and focus on what you have going on in your own life. Stop focusing on the people who you're assuming hate you or who you think is jealous of you.. You'll drive yourself up a wall fixating your gaze on the unnecessary.